Total Drama: Two-by-Two
by aceman88
Summary: Come one, come all! Check out my collection of One-Shots, each focusing on the interaction of two Total Drama teens.


**Hello, everyone! My God it's been too long since I wrote a fanfiction. Well, since I've been a huge fan of Total Drama for years, I've decided to do a series of one shots starring two contestants in each. These type of relationship fics have always intrigued me, so I decided to try my hand at them, while getting myself motivated to write again.**

**Here's how this will work: I randomly pick two contestants to do a one shot around, anyone from any season meeting someone else from any season. A pair will only meet once and I can't do another shot with a character until I finished with all the others. These one shots could go from short to a long story all it's own, and only the contestants can be used, so no Chris, Chef or even Blaineley even though she was a contestant for a short time. I excluded them because I feel they have the same relationship with everyone: Basically being jerks to them.**

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Total Drama. It is owned by Fresh TV and Teletoon.**

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><p><em> Pairing one:<em>

_ Topher and 'B'_

** "The Topher Show"**

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><p>A camera turns on, where we see the grinning face of Topher, former Pahkitew Island contestant and 'Chris McLean 2.0'<p>

"Hello, viewers of the internet! You know me, you love me, I'm Topher! And this is:" He presses a button and a sign drops, "**THE TOPHER SHOW!"**

Topher makes his way to a chair in front of a purple certain as he continues, "On this show, I'll talk with former past contestants on the reality show 'Total Drama', where I'll dish the dirt on what they've been doing and their experience on the show and any beefs they still have."

Topher gestures over to his side, "And for my first guest, I present to you a guy who's spoke less than Justin did in season one, and more 'heavy set' than him, from 'Revenge of the Island', B!'

The camera is still on Topher, and once he realizes the camera is not turning on his 'guest', he awkwardly stands and goes over to adjust the camera so that both seats are in the shot, and we finally see Topher's guest.

"Once again, give it up for B!" B waves to the camera as Topher returns to his seat, playing audience applause on a device. "Now, B, we know that you were one of the smartest players in Total Drama history, yet you were screwed out of the Million and eliminated early thanks to that country bumpkin, Scott. How do you feel?"

B thinks, and just gives a shrug.

"Uh, okay. So, I hear that your real name is Beverly." B grimaces at the name as Topher gives a smirk, "What kind of parents would give their son a girl's name?"

B shrugs again, with a embarrassed look on his face. Topher's smirk falters.

"Okay, next question: What's your relationship with Dawn?" B blushes, "You know, little pale girl, animal lover, a little creepy but kind of adorable? What's your feelings for the 'aura whisperer'?"

B continues to blush as does some random hand gestures, like someone giving a nervous exaggerated explanation, but still not talking. Topher is beginning to feel irritated.

"Alright, next question: Do you think 'Total Drama' would be like a hundred times better if I was the host?"

B thinks, and gives so/so hand gesture. Topher is now starting to look PO-ed.

"Can you tell me your shoe size?"

B holds all ten of his fingers up, and now Topher has had it.

"That's it! Screw this!" Topher yells, standing up in fury, "Are you trying to make me look like an idiot? This is my chance to prove to the 'Total Drama' producers that I'm a thousand times better a host than that hack, Chris McLean! I mean I tried to actually get a contestant that people gave a damn about for my first episode, like Gwen, Duncan, Courtney, Zoey and even Ezekiel! But nooooo, they're either too busy, or refuse to come unless they get paid. So who did I get instead?" points at B, "You! Mr. Super Genius, who, despite making a robot, has never learned to talk! How is that useful on a 'Talk' show? I mean-"

"Tophyyyy!" a woman's voice interrupts off screen, "You and your friend have to finish playing soon, your father will be home in half an hour, so you need to clean out the garage."

"It's not a garage, Mom!" Topher replies in annoyance, "It's my TV Studio! TV studio!"

"Are you still going on about that?" asked Topher's Mom, "Why can't you just be like your Father and be a math teacher?"

"Math teachers don't get famous or make big bucks! GAH!" Topher looks over to B, who's been sitting awkwardly during this exchange, "Interview's over! Get out!" Topher walks off screen as he mutters "If I wanted to have a one sided interview I would've gotten that Beard guy, he might not talk but at least he makes some sounds with his mouth."

Topher closes the door behind him as B just sits there, before his face scrunches in anger and opens his mouth, but unfortunately the camera runs out of power and shuts off before he even starts to say a syllable.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Wow, I never knew how hard it was to write a conversation between two characters where one doesn't talk. Hope I got their personalities right, I mean Topher IS trying to pass off as a 'Chris Clone', and B, well he doesn't talk. Anyway, more one shots are on the way, and hopefully they'll be better than this one. Please review, either good or bad, I accept any, except those that just flame for no reason than to be a jerk.<strong>


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